We have a small group that meets in our house every week to discuss life, our walk with God, and they have very quicky become apart of our family. Over the summer we have had each couple share a "stone" in their lives. A time when God has shown up in such a way that the only explanation is that it was Him working our the situation, that it was God showing up for them.
Tonight was the night for Scott and I to share about our "stone". It got me thinking about sharing one or two of the stories here on my blog. This one will be a small part of getting to know me and how God has grown me over the last few years. So I will start a few years ago (ok maybe more than a few lol) when I was in eigth grade. I started wearing glasses that year. I still held everything right up to my nose. My grandpa used to tell me I was going to get ink on my nose from holding the book so close. I love to read. Anyway, then when I was 18 I got my drivers liscence and watch out! I was a horrible driver. 2 accidents within ayear of each other where I totaled my car(s) each time. Everyone thought I was just a reeeaallly bad driver but turns out I was slowly losing my central vision. I got married when I was 21 and got pregnant right away. It was during that year with a new baby that I started seeing a specialist in my area. After another year and 2 more babies (yes I said 2 but that's a story for another day) I was sent to a retinal specialist who told me if he didn't know I was in my 20's and he just looked at my scans he would have said I was 80 or 90 years old. He suggested I see another specialist this time in NYC. So off we went, Scott and I, to the city where his superb driving skills were put to the test and he passed with FLYING colors. :) The specialist there diagnosed me with cone dystrophy and we left with little hope that I would keep my eyesight and not go legally blind. Basically the doctor told us there was nothing he could do and good luck.
At this point I was very discouraged. I went home and was not able to drive. My oldest son was just starting preschool and I had the twins at home all day. I was completely dependant on my husband and others to take me anywhere, grocery shopping, church, etc. This was a very dark period of time for me. I never thought of myself as a control freak or someone who liked to be behind the wheel ( literally). Boy was I wrong. I was so angry, angry at God, angry at everyone who could drive lol I was just angry. Then I went thru self pity. Why would God let this happen to me.... Then over time and God's faithful pursuit of me, I came to a realization. it's not earth shattering or amazingly profound but it was life changing for me. Everyone has something they struggle with, everyone. Someitmes it's a disease, a temptation, addiction, fear, etc. but everyone has something that could put distance between them and God... if we let it. And no matter the circumstance it doesn't change God and it downs't change our own personal responsibility to respond to God's call on each of our lives. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on what I could do for God not what I couldn't do.
After 6 months I went back to see the specialist in my area for a checkup, to see how my vision was progressing. I was still not out of my anger/self pity stage but I went anyway. I was not optimistic but God had other plans. My vision had improved! Enough that I could drive again. I was speechless. So was my doctor. He kept saying he didn't know how this happened but I knew and I was so grateful!
Recently I went for a second opinion and was diagnosed with macular dystrophy. Better diagnosis but similar disease. My vision has been stable for the last year and according to this doctor I should stay where I'm at. But I know that no matter what it's all in God's hands. I choose to trust, I choose to have faith, and I choose HOPE.
No comments:
Post a Comment